#But they're also doomed and that's the poetry

[hikarielizabethbloom]

The thing about Galadriel and Halbrand is that they were both broken people starving for something (revenge, redemption? Who cares?).

And then they met and they started feeding on each other and if felt complicated but good.

And then everything went to hell

and now they're doomed to spend the rest of their lives starving (for each other)

[razz-matazz143]

"oh what inspired that work?" "what inspired that poem?" "An old relationship? someone you like?" No actually it's two doomed yaoi characters sorry :(

[pilferingapples]

as a big les mis fan, i have loved your blog for ages but recently you have especially piqued my interest - in your recent explanatory amis post, you referenced historical metacontext around jehan's death being first. i have a theory about what that metacontext is, but i am FAR from certain and hoping you could offer me some clarification

(also do you have any other pieces of interesting historical metacontext to share with the class)

OK you gotta tell me your Theory too!!! if it lines up or it was something totally different , I wanna hear it alllll

anyway! it's pretty solid that Prouvaire as he finally appears is largely an homage to Hugo's old friend Gérard de Nerval, who had died in 1855; a LOT about Prouvaire's description overlaps with how people talk about Gérard, and the conversation where he's arguing with everyone about the old gods still existing lines up EXTREMELY with conversations that other people remembered having with him ; there's THIS :

Jean Prouvaire was in love; he cultivated a pot of flowers, played on the flute, made verses, loved the people, pitied woman, wept over the child, confounded God and the future in the same confidence (LM 3.4.1, Hapgood)

“God is dead, perhaps,” said Gerard de Nerval one day to the writer of these lines, confounding progress with God and taking the interruption of movement for the death of Being.(LM 5.1.20)

(Hugo still trying to still have this conversation with his friend via novel guts me more than a little!! People are people and we never stop wanting to find the right thing to say oh geez I'm crying for real)

Bahorel , who dies in the same first-charge attack that takes Prouvaire, is also a (even more obvious) homage to a friend; Petrus Borel , who had died in 1859.

They're considered pretty minor figures today, but they were both really noteable names in their day, which is to say...about the late 1820s/early 1830s; they were two of Hugo's most trusted lieutenants in the battle of Hernani, held in French Romantic memory as a breakout event for the movement. And, importantly, they were the first of that core group of more radical Romantics to die.

So while i think there is a lot going on character- and symbol-wise with them being the first two Amis down, I also think there's definitely an Acknowledgement in them being the first of the named group to go; they get the sort of heroic deaths they'd have liked, and maybe the closest thing to Good deaths on the barricade until OFPD? and agh I'm emotional, QUICK tell me your theories before I start crying harder

[haveyouthoughtaboutcomicstoday]

Orm's journey from the full human half-sibling to half human, half atlantean half-sibling to full atlantean half-sibling. For how much he hates Arthur's human side in modern Aquaman books, it's only second to how much he despised it in himself.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Ok. Get closer why don’t you.

[wyzzze]

Something kind of funny that I haven't really seen that many people put together is that Vlad is either a real vampire or a bat Thiren and his bangboo is called Robin.

So they're literally Batman and Robin

Other clever things about this is that robins are birds so that goes along with Mockingbird's motif and Vlad is a phantom thief which means Robin also has a really clever double meaning; robbing, as in: to steal.

And while I'm here anyway;

Robin's look is also based on Phantom of the Opera obv, which I just find very delightful since Hugo Vlad is clearly a campy cringe theatre kid that probably can't shut up or stop his habit of standing on tables reciting poetry or whatever the illness that possess him tells him to do 💔

(Based on what we've seen so far, I'm assuming that Mockingbird's gimmick is that when they steal things, they leave replicas in their place. So mock also has a double meaning as they replace the stolen item with mock items while also mocking the victims as they skip away 💀)

ALSO-I really like Hugo's sun vs. Lycaon's moon motif and the irony of that for Hugo because vampires famously can't go in the sun, and bats are nocturnal

(But he clearly has some sorta sing-songy fruity tralala personality that's really being dampened by being a night bandit when the stage in the light calls to him-)

And they both have this theatrical gay little "You live in the light while I'm doomed to dwell in the darkness" interchangeable thing going for them (the ex boyfriends everrr!)

And of course, I must also mention how Vlad's outfit is considered ugly by fans largely because it's so asymmetrical--but the reason might be because he has two different eye colors and he's really leaning into the whole unbalanced look.

He's a weirdo and now he's just owning that kinda like Jane.

(Something something one eye symbolizing the blue moon and the other symbolizing the blood moon)

He has two moles under one eye btw. The blood red one. Which look like vampire bites. If u care.

[justsomeoneunordinary]

Finished watching Melody of Golden Age (fantastic show, I highly recommend!!!) and pretty much since the beginning I've been imagining a MadaTobi AU, so:

Madara is the head of the imperial guards (or whatever the Edo Japanese equivalent is, Idk (samurai?)), and Tobirama works just as a clerk at the Ministry of Justice (or again, the equivalent of it). He mostly does the autopsies even though his intellect makes him an excellent investigator that he could even be the chief inspector - he just prefers to be among the dead bodies.

For his fantastic work and loyalty, the Damiyou bestows Madara with a marriage to the firstborn son of the Senju family. The Damiyou is so kind to take Madara's sexuality into account and it's said, that the firstborn Senju is a beauty among men, a connoisseur of music, poetry, art and dance, a very refined man who'd be perfect for someone like Madara.

It's very unlucky then, that just a few hours before that Hashirama disappeared to elope with the love of his life - Uzumaki Mito. Even worse, following the Damiyou's letter another one by one of the Damiyou's advisors arrives, ordering the firstborn Senju who's to marry Madara to spy on him (or else.)

Tobirama is none of those things Hashirama is being praised for, but he still steps up to take on his role and save his family from impending doom. Unfortunately for him, Madara knows Hashirama from their childhood days and is perfectly aware that Tobirama is not the firstborn child he is to marry. Fortunately for him, though, Madara holds fond feelings for his childhood friend and won't snitch him out and risk him being executed.

Neither of them wants this marriage. But neither can refuse. Madara was all but ordered to and the Senju were all but threatened with their lives if they were not to follow through. Which is why they desperately try to get the other one to divorce him.

Madara - and under his order, the rest of the Uchiha residence - tries to terrify the hell out of Tobirama, constantly holding his sword close to Tobirama's neck and threatening him. And while Tobirama absolutely thinks Madara to be a madman, he is confident Madara won't kill him - he'd have to face the Damiyou's wrath otherwise. So he stands his ground and instead tries to irritate Madara into divorce by bringing the whole residence into chaos with petty tricks like making a mess of Madara's office, eating in their shared bed which drives Madara up a wall, cooking Madara's food too spicy, extinguishing the lanterns during the night...

None of it works but it doesn't stop them from trying. Meanwhile, they also begin to collaborate on big cases. It's the investigations they work on together that bring them closer, rather than their marital bed because for all they can't stand the other one, they can acknowledge the other's intellect.

It takes Tobirama way too long to figure out Madara has so many lanterns alighted at night because he suffers from night blindness. Once he does figure out, he puts all his focus into sciencing a cure. Because he likes the challenge, not because he cares or anything...

Madara on the other hand is aware Tobirama is here to spy on him (and Tobirama is aware that Madara knows... doesn't change the fact that he somehow has to) and yet never rattles him out. Totally only because of Hashirama and not because he worries what'd happen to Tobirama if he were to...

And if Tobirama's spying notes only consist of Madara's meal schedule rather than any useful information ("Oh, well, what can I do? Madara is very careful and will not let me get close to any of his work lalala"), and if Madara changes the residence more and more to Tobirama's liking and even has a lab built for him? Well, then that means nothing. it's not like they're falling in love or something, noooo....

Anyway, in the end they solve a major case, save the Damiyou's life, expose the counselor who wanted Madara to be spied on and live happily after. The End

[disguisedcheezed]

what made you like dirkjohn so much? like how did the ship pop into your head?

"how did the ship pop into your head?"

Okay. So, I just did some digging through my old abandoned accounts, and it turns out dirkjohn was my main reason why I read Homestuck in the first place. XD

They got me with their dumb looking faces and I thought I should just ship them because they're my favorites. And the fact that they were a blue orange color combo, which is the color combination I am very obsessed over, is just a mere coincidence that just made me like them more.

I don't even remember other shit from 2020-2022 because I was busy fighting for my life. 😭 I did knew that they had one interaction, so I just read the comic without expecting much of them as a ship but I loved them as their individual characters.

"what made you like dirkjohn so much?"

I don't just like dirkjohn. I LOVE dirkjohn. It's not even an exaggeration. I couldn't talk about dirkjohn(or just themindividually) without making poetry.

Anyway. The depressed weed boyfriends dirkjohn 2016-2019 shippers were right this. It was made sometime after the release of the snapchats where John is alone in his room for quite a while. And then there's other people who say like "of course they're being paired because they're the left overs of the kids ships", but what if it's like they were meant to be that way? What if they finally get to talk to each other and call out on each other's destructive behaviors? What is more romantic than being understood? Everyone else has figured out what to do with their lives.

Dirk helps John be grounded back into reality and tell him that there are friends that care for him. John tells Dirk to get out of his head, stop over thinking about the future and take care of himself. They inevitably take care of themselves by taking care of the other. They should take care of themselves for the other. And over time they get to share interest in watching animes, shitty movies and pranks.

The above is only showing "the good part" of dirkjohn.

"The worst part" ? Dirk and John were created in love of Everything, but they were doomed to be Nothing.

Similarities : They heavily mirror each other through almost all aspects of their lives.

Ex. (only a few. this isn't even the half of it.)

John: Rise up / Prince: Rise up

Liv Tyler / Lil Seb (puttin the bunny in the box)

Dirk sending gifts to his friends through a sendificator(red box) that helps/interacts with his friends physically(robots). John sends gifts to his friends through mail(blue box) that would give them their unique identity forever.

These conversations have the same vibe where they wanted to know what the other is really like apart from them knowing their adult counter parts:

In what aspect are they The Same? :

They hate themselves. Dirk dwells in it. John pushes it in the back of his head and doesn't want to think about any of it.

Dirkjohn Conclusion/Bare essentials: They effortlessly make the appeal themselves.

This is also why looking at HS^2 through a dirkjohn perspective just makes it a huge dirkjohn fanfiction. X

They ascend the need for a label in their relationship/any form of romance because of how intertwined they are to each other that they are a concept as a whole. (looks at the camera)

Dirk and John are the very threads of what makes Homestuck, Homestuck... Which means nothing.

End of ask mood moard;

My body is a vessel that collected every piece of Dirk and John's showed it back into the audience piece by piece and I will never stop doing it.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Laima Touden Au - family life:

+May also apply to FTM Laios.

Timeline:

At 14, Laima deserted the village and joined the army, only to be discovered and reclaimed by her parents after a few months. Despite the harassment and bullying she received in training, she still thinks it prepared her for a future career in fighting.

Laima was married off to the son of a wealthy merchant at the age of 16, having her first child soon afterwards. Laima tried to find happiness in her role as a housewife, but grew increasingly despaired by her husband's dismissive and later abusive behaviour.

When her husband became physically abusive during her second pregnancy, Laima fled the village with her daughter in tow. The last contact she's had with her husband or her parents was a letter containing divorce papers.

Laima has since been enjoying her life as an adventurer, whilst also making time for her kids. Is still muscled up, chubby, and decked out in plate armour like OG!Laios. Romantic relations with anyone are off the table unless her kids are ok with it.

Laima has sort of a "doomed anime mom"-hairstyle, not wanting her hair to flow freely like her mother's but also not really caring how it looks.

By the time of 513, Laima has two children.

The Kids (OCs):

Tove; a 9/10-year old mage-in-training attending the all-girls magic school. Tove believes that she and her mother fled the village because Tove's powers were discovered, not wanting her to be ostracised like Aunt Falin was. Tove is skilled and creative, if not a little overconfident. She recognises that there's something "different" about her family from other people (i.e neurodivergence), and overcompensates in trying to appear "normal" to her peers. Her magic isn't particularly easy to control, failing at the most inopportune times. Tove sneaks out of school to help save her beloved aunt after receiving a prophetic vision of the fight with the Red Dragon. Presents herself as a grown halfling to trick other adventurers into taking her seriously. Idolises her Aunt Falin and Marcille. Has a very idealised view of romance and relationships (no doubt fostered by her mentor), and has a book of embarrassing poetry she's composed. Appearance-wise: Is fairly tall for her age. Has Laima's/Laios' mom's red-auburn hair colour. Very sharp chin and high cheek bones - all covered in freckles. Hazel-gold eyes. Hair is typically in an elaborate braid, especially if Aunt Marcille is around to help. Wears her school robe with the insignia covered. Character Inspiration: Aiko from Little Witch Academia + Wirt from Over the Garden Wall. Likes: Strawberry Pancakes ("Mom makes them special on my birthday!"). Dislikes: Lettuce. ("It tastes like water.")

(image above: Laios and Falin's mother in a dream sequence)

Pilypas; a cheerful 6-year old who only really knows The Island and its Dungeon as his world. Was born on the road when Laima was working for the trade caravan. Pilypas has never met his biological father, and is currently deciding on who to choose for the role (Mr Chilchuck is high on the leaderboard). Frequently wanders off from his caretakers, and was supposed to be in the care of a babysitter when his mother went back down into the dungeon for aunt Falin. Thankfully, his sister found him and begrudgingly agreed to let him come along on her mission. Is frequently mistaken for a gnome/halfling due to his name and build - which his older sister uses to dupe others. Will react to the emotional distress of others by offering them (or the current threat) food from his pockets. Also will ask other adventurers if they're married, to which he will mention his parent's current relationship status. His mother gets extremely embarassed whenever she sees this happen. Appearance-wise: Chunky and short. Has very short blond hair like Laios in canon. Round face with big hazel eyes. Very much a tiny double of his mom/dad when they were younger. Character Inspiration: Greg from Over the Garden Wall + Gene from Bob's Burgers (when older). Likes: Cheese ("I can hide lots!"). Dislikes: Uncooked fruit. ("Yeech!")

(image above: baby Laios held by his father in a Daydream hour comic)

???: Unidentified. Came into being within the dungeon. Laios/Laima is unaware that they exist just yet. Other parent unknown. Likes: Monsters. Dislikes: Squid and shellfish.

Changes in canon:

Instead of directly fleeing the magic school, Falin instead insisted for the school to take Tove in her place after she dropped out; wanting her niece to have adequate magic training before she went out into the world.

Marcille became a mentor figure to Tove in the magic school. Marcille was still upset that Falin left her grave-keeping job to pursue the life of an adventurer - but decided to watch over Falin's niece in her stead. For all Marcille taught Tove, the most impactful was how to braid her long hair.

Tove and Pilypas are in the Dungeon searching for Aunt Falin, having tricked other adventurers into believing that they were grown-up halflings. They finally reunite with their mother and her party around the same time Falin is resurrected. The Winged Lion now smells easy prey...

Zon and the other orcs aren't fooled for a second when Tove claims she and Pilypas are halflings. As a parent, Zon knows a child playing around when he sees one. Before he can gather them up and find wtf their mom is, the pair wander off to continue their journey.

Kabru and his party are pretty sure the two adventurers they just met aren't adult halfings/gnomes, but they seem to be having better luck than they are. Mickbell finds Tove's scam hilarious.

The Winged Lion had tasted many types of desires and wants. But is curious to understand those of a fresh mind...

Thoughts?

[randomthefox]

Saying that the Space Colony Ark is representation for Shadow the Hedgehog is such a cop out. The level design only incorporates mechanics from Final Chase, and all of the promotional material for the game only compares those levels to Final Chase. Most people associate the Ark with Sonic Adventure 2 anyway.

Instead of getting a level from Shadow the Hedgehog, we got Chaos Island. An environment from a game that Shadow wasn't in, in a game all about revisiting his past. The only explanation is that Sega either didn't give Sonic Team enough time, budget, or both.

How cool would it have been if we got Digital Circuit instead? Digital Circuit and Mad Matrix are level themes unique to Shadow the Hedgehog. It would make even more sense to meet Rouge after finishing Digital Circuit than Chaos Island because Digital Circuit is the level in Shadow the Hedgehog where you team up with Rouge. I'm sure you could seamlessly integrate the Doom Morph into the level (I also just love Digital Circuit).

And another thing, I don't get why Black Doom keeps using Radical Highway instead of Westopolis. What association does Black Doom have with Radical Highway? Or even better, have the final level be Final Haunt after we've already spent the entire game revisiting Radical Highway.

I love this game, but god, do I hate that they made "Shadow Generations," a game all about revisiting Shadow's past, and didn't include a single level from the game where he's the title character. Heck, let him use weapons for the Shadow the Hedgehog levels while you're at it. It's not like Shadow was shooting people in this game; he was only killing inhuman, non-sentient, evil aliens. If Bayonetta and Joker can use guns in Super Smash Bros. while keeping the game at E 10+ so long as the use of guns isn't realistic, then Shadow could have too.

It doesn't NOT represent Shadow the Hedgehog lol.

Makes more sense than saying Sonic Adventure 2 got two levels representing it. And the ARK level actually takes place before the Time Eater shows up, so it's chronologically a Present level and not a past one. So it IS the ARK from Shadow 2005, as that was the game that depicted the ARK in its post-Sonic Adventure 2 state. The ARK in Shadow Generations is very explicitly NOT the time traveled past version of the ARK that existed within the timeframe of Sonic Adventure 2.

Also not sure how saying that a level existing in the game is indicative that Sonic Team didn't have enough time and budget? X3 not quite sure how the logic works there. Surely it would be the ABSENCE of a level that indicates that, not the existence of one? Like, what? I don't even know how to explain how that doesn't make sense because it's so patently ridiculous on its face. It's like saying that someone being drenched soaked to the gills and dripping all over the floor is proof that they didn't jump into a swimming pool. Like, what?

I can't imagine any other level from Shadow 2005 getting picked for a Generations visit besides Westopolis, the ARK, or Black Comet tbh. So considering the ARK is a significant location to Shadow and it thematically makes sense to start his new game in the same place that his last game ended, naturally they're gonna pick the ARK. The game literally starts in the same room that Shadow 2005 closed on.

And having the Sonic Adventure 2 level of Radical Highway be the final level of the game makes Shadow's story cyclical. The last level we play as Shadow is also the first level where Shadow was ever playable. It's like poetry it's like they rhyme.

I also don't really see what gameplay utility guns would have had. The boost and open zone formula isn't really conductive to anything involving guns. They worked in the Adventure style gameplay of Shadow 2005. But Shadow has pretty much outgrown any need for them. It's like going back to riding a tricycle after you've mastered trick stunt motocross.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii liked it. People said the same "why not THESE OTHER levels INSTEAD!" complaint about the original Sonic Generations so, like, it's all whatever to me =P

[coldalbion]

Dis/nomers: On misnomers, magic-metaphors, and life in general

So, here's the thing: a lot of societal and cultural metaphors around magic and occultism are in the so-called West, frankly, bad and a product of the imprecision in the English language about "power", which themselves are inherently modelled on industrial-capitalist frameworks thanks to the Industrial Revolution, and steam power. Think about what you mean when you use the word "power" or "intent" and ask yourself whether you are once again running on 19th Century (colonialist ideas: for example see non-Indigenous misconceptions of mana) that boil down to thinking you're a steam engine or some sort of closed system - because that's what the whole popular idea of energy comes from. Why? Because willpower doesn't really exist. Now something seems to be going on, when we do certain things. But are we hoodwinking ourselves - barking up the wrong tree, being led down the garden path -by the porting in pop-metaphor? Sure, it's easier, but is the apparent ease and clarity obscuring insights? Is it preventing us from taking our place as part of a living world; not clockwork and piston but inter-and-intra-relating, inter-and-intra-being in an 'animist' cosmovision? Consider the metaphors you use, and wonder how they're using you. Because they are - we are thinking-with-and-being-with the ongoing worlding of a daimonic (agential) kosmos. And that All is doing the same-with-us. Remember, changing the metaphors we use can change the way we think, and how we are in the world. This is why I mutter about kenning, as found in Old Norse poetry, but also as a method of indirectly approaching experience by folding in the world. Kenning is, in one sense creating a poetic metaphor, a circomlocution that describes a thing without direct nominalisation. A wheelchair user can be a throne-walker; the sea is not just the sea, it is the whale-road and also Aegir's-cauldron, Poseidon's-stable, etc etc.

"It is no coincidence that a kenning is a poetic term of art, a doubling and metaphoric circumlocution of a singular noun or thing – the sea becoming the “whale-road”, a sword seen as the “icicle of red shields”. A singular referent now exceeds itself, drawing the relationality with the whole world of those present. This indirectness, far from detracting from the referent, deepens the knowing. Each portion of the kenning exceeds itself also, thusly thickening the field of the sword or sea, and, in enhancing its relationality, enlivens each further. Further, this means that the poet acknowledges the excess of the referents, comprehending that kenning may build on kenning, and the full, totalistic mapping of a referent is doomed to fail in terms of completion. This goes even beyond the usual aphorism from astronomer Carl Sagan: “If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” For each element of the apple pie is capable of being defined by the relationality of all presences, in all forms, positions, and configurations in all possible and impossible universes – and each of these in turn relate to each other as they will. This then, is the joy and horror, the wonder and terror of an animate, fluxing kosmos – there is always more." - Goêtic Atavisms, Frater Acher & Craig 'VI' Slee (See link above: also available on Amazon as well as from the publisher if you need that)

Do we want to live in a world circumscribed by misnomers, grandfathered in with extractive and clunky ways of perceiving the world? Or do we want to embrace the dis/abling wyrd strangenesses of the numinous? The liberatory power of the dis/nomer - the radical proposition that there is always more than can be named, can be contained? That we might ken more if we embraced blurry, uncertain periphalisms which spiral endlessly inward and down into pandaemonic, living, breathing labyrinths? If we immersed ourselves in relational eddies, tides and gyres eternally returning-and-coming-forth-again - dis/membered and re-membered anew? To dive into currents and flows - the multiplicitous assemblage of influences which are the very bodyof the oceanic river which Herakleitos warned us that we could never enter in the same place twice? What might we notice is already happening, already ongoing, that we are amidst, then? Might we spot the plurality of Minotaurs engaging in their diasporic fugitivity, nomads in their myriad labyrinths, far older, wiser, and weirder than we thought we knew? Spaces of monstrously numinous sanctuary, far beyond the ken of the Theseus (their supposed slayer) and his identitarian regime of denial, his heroic ever-intact status quo. Pity the ship-builders in their labour; they work do so under the threat of sword - or is it gun and bomb, these days? But while Theseus abandons Ariadne, Dionysos does not! And while Theseus eschews the sea route to perform his labours in order to gain heroic glory and satisfy ambition, his oceanic ancestry has the last laugh - both mortal father Aegeus (thrown into the sea that bears his name) and he (thrown off an island cliff - presumably into the ocean) were reclaimed; seized by the sea and its thundering white horses. What might it be, to be oceanically possesed as that hero's mother was? To have one's soul-sea stirred by the Earthshaker? We can but dream on the matter - while also slyly noting that Athenians kept the Ship of Theseus preserved, as mark of divine heritage in their feted city ruled by the demos. What matters now, in these days when even politicians talk of the so-called "will of the people", is matters of ancestry and history dismissed; lineages of language and its many influences ignored - no entanglements here, vine or otherwise, we assure you! But thankfully, the ship-builders know the way of wood and net and weave. They know how many planks pass through their hands, how many nails struck, how much pitch is brewed. They know there's more. They're craftsfolk after all - assemblages are their business, whatever the material - they know what mattering is. And isn't it interesting that the Temple of Hephaistos in Athens was once mistakenly called the Thesseion - The Temple of Theseus, before the moderns realised their mistake? Watch the words we use, and how they use us. Be seeing you.

[tarabyte3]

Top 5 favourite fanfic tropes?

For my follow up I will allow you a light cheat:

✨️ Top 5 fics (any fandom/pairing)

and (if you would like)

✨️ Top 5 Andy blorbo fics

You know, those ones that live rent free in your mind and you find yourself coming back to even years later (also your choices don't have to specifically follow your trope picks!).

😘

Before I start, I want you to know I only saw the first bit in the preview and was like, "Oh that's fun!" And then got sneak attacked by the rest when I opened it 😂😭 Anon, I respect tf out of you for this, but also I'm going to have an existential crisis lmaoooo

✨Top 5 fanfiction tropes

- Mutual pining/"un"requited love

Especially if it's paired with angst 🤌 want them longing. Yearning, even. Throw in something like forbidden love to kick it up a notch, and, baby, you've got yourself a stew.

- Sex pollen

Particularly if they aren't in a relationship yet to add extra pining and angst. This is a sacrifice (I shouldn't want this). I would do this for you (please let me). I can't stand to watch you suffer (this will break me, but for you it's worth it). That and the smut of it all 😌

- Hanahaki

Being so in love with someone it's literally killing you. It's love made manifest so violently you choke on it. The pain and suffering would end if only you could let the words out, but the thought of rejection—of having to live with that instead—is worse than death. Plus, there's something a little beautiful and poetic about combining pain and suffering with love and flowers. Doom and bloom. Life and death. The Japanese were so real for this.

- Fake dating

I love it when they're both fuckin dying the entire time because they've caught a glimpse of the thing they want more than anything and it isn't real. It's bliss. It's torture. They don't want it to end, but it will destroy them to keep having it just out of reach.

- Getting together

A simple classic, but there's just something about two people falling in love and coming together in spite of everything. And if it's a slow burn? With constant missed opportunities and misunderstandings?! Staple crop of tropes.

✨ Top 5 Fics

I'm going to go with Qui-Gon x Obi-Wan (shocking, I know) because that is the bulk of what I have been reading non-stop so it's at the forefront of my brain. It was difficult to narrow down my 100+ bookmarks because there are SO many incredible works and writers in that fandom that inspire me, and some of them make me want to eat dirt. (I mean that as an exceptional compliment.)

- Shorelines by outpastthemoat

This is what Qui-Gon has done each morning for the past three days, returning to Obi-Wan with handfuls of treasures he has found: Bits of broken glass, polished by the waves, or intricately spiraled shells, a broken piece of chain; perhaps a stone as wide and flat as his hand. But he always returns to the shoreline the following day, and begins his search anew.

This is one of my favorite QuiObi writers (I would highly recommend ANY of her other works at the drop of a hat as well), and I have reread this fic at least once a week for months. Like, I have it open in a tab and think about it constantly. It's an introspective piece—an exploration of a connection and the peeling back of layers to try to understand what waits underneath. There's a beautiful sort of simple yearning, melancholy, and poetry to her writing that makes my brain go brrrrrr. So much is said in all of the things left unsaid. It's two parts of a series and they're both incredible.

- Malalignment by Tohje

The first time is a pure coincidence, all parties could swear it on their deathbeds. The pelta frigate GRS-20 - informally Generosity - is a huge, maze-like, rusting piece of a stronghold with multiple medical wards and cantinas. It is a sheer stroke of luck that 212th and the River Company are accommodated in the adjacent, overstuffed compartments and share the same cantina for their short recuperation periods. There is no thing such as luck, or coincidence, only war (and the Force, according to the Jedi).

Another writer that I adore who has multiple bangers. This one is an AU where QuiGon lives and is part of the Clone War, but in the most Qui-Gon way possible. Combined with Obi-Wan's lingering hurt from the situation with Anakin, the war, and a several year estrangement and by god it's delicious angst. Plus, I love self-sacrificing depictions of General Kenobi. (The smut is also very good)

- That Cold Affliction by Orphan Account

Obi-Wan tries to surprise his Master on a mission with few comforts by making Qui-Gon's favorite tea. Or trying to, at least. As it turns out, tea is a . . . complicated affair. (A little bit like love.)

Short and bittersweet. Forbidden love. Beautiful angst. I'm so sad I don't know the original author because I've seen several of their works pop up that are also orphaned (they have a very specific summary style) and they're all so good and full of similar themes, but I have no way of seeing if I've missed one or not 😭

- Taking Root by sanerontheinside

Obi-Wan thought he was terribly obvious, really. Qui-Gon thought it was Obi-Wan’s secret to share or keep, as he wished.

*banging pots and pans together* QUIOBI HANAHAKI!! This author does a deep dive into the affliction and combines it beautifully with Star Wars world building, plot, and characterization. It's everything I could want from the trope AND the pairing. They're also another one of my favorite writers. And if you're looking for an abundance of excellent smut, you'll absolutely find it in their body of work.

- How to Grow Vegetables and Alienate People by Meggory

Why had Obi-Wan agreed to this? He had exactly no experience growing anything—hell, he'd killed a cactus once, and he'd heard someone say that was impossible—but now he was taking over Bant's community garden share so she didn't feel she had wasted $150 on the plot? He had $150. He should have just given it to her and told her to get blitzed on the plane.

Cute modern AU with a funny af meet cute, excellent characterization, humor, and a simple, lovely plot of two idiots falling in love. Oh, plus gardening. 😌 AND Qui-Gon has a dog. It's the soul comfort food of fics. This author does an incredible job with AUs (pssst you like time loops?) that are great stories so it was very difficult to pick just one!

✨I both adore and dislike this last part. Because on one hand, it gives me the chance to brag about and hype up my friends, who are not only kind, wonderful people, but also very talented writers that deserve it and more. So I truly appreciate you so much for that. On the other hand, there are more than 5 of them that have written Andy Blorbo fics, and some of them have multiple stories and blorbos. And we've all gushed over or discussed many of them at length with each other, so they hold a particular fondness in my heart. Choosing only 5 from that feels like an impossible task.

So I WON'T be narrowing down my top 5 (I'm so sorry, anon, I'm not god's strongest soldier), but I will be taking the opportunity to drop their Masterlists/AO3 accounts 💖😌😇

afogocado | Alfred Pennyworth

amywritesthings | Kino Loy

citrus-moonlight | Ulysses Klaue

eupheme | Alfred Pennyworth, Ulysses Klaue

squidlywiddly87 | Kino Loy, Ulysses Klaue, Liam Black

stargirlfics | Alfred Pennyworth (+ lots of Alfred and Klaue headcanons and blurbs!)

tarrenterror | Alfred Pennyworth, Ulysses Klaue (+ Alfred, David Robey, and Kino headcanons, blurbs, and edits)

viceofdionysus : Alfred Pennyworth, Ulysses Klaue

[paragonrobits]

more weird Calvin and Hobbes details!

One running gag in the comic strip involves Calvin dealing with the monsters under his bed. Much like how the reality of whatever Hobbes is, is a recurring element with all kinds of fun blurrings (such as him taking his baths by getting put into a washing machine and simply complaining about it making his fur frightful), Calvin is regularly menaced by monsters beneath his bed. They're pretty vocal about wanting to kill and eat him, and a lot of the jokes around them are blended with genuine (if incompetent) menace from these monsters.

They seem to be products of Calvin's imagination to at least some degree; in one strip, he actively attempts to avoid thinking about them, only to pop open an eye in terror as one looms over him with only its eyes and massive claws visible, and the monsters complain that he lied to them.

Calvin is legitimately terrified of them; one collection includes a story that is a mix of poetry and artwork, portrayed from Calvin's point of view detailing him being afraid of the monsters under his bed eating him, with some borderline graphic depictions of his bones being left behind as his parents wail about how they should have listened to him; its operatic and dramatic, but it was pretty damn freaky to read as a kid.

These monsters are also never entirely seen clearly. They are ALWAYS depicted completely in shadow, and the most we see of them at one time is their eyes as they bicker with each other under his bed, or glimpses of their claws as they loom over him to scare him. As best as can be seen, they are apparently pretty intimidating and they're extremely big, looming over him.

They're also extremely dim-witted. As much as Calvin is afraid of them, he pretty regularly plays mind games with them or tricks them to exposing themselves in the middle of trying to trick him into lowering his defenses. At one point Calvin remarks, after they ineptly try to convince him that there's nothing under his bed despite TALKING to him from underneath there and awkwardly claiming they're just tiny dust bunnies, that they've got no brains and are just digestive tracts.

So they're genuinely malicious and honestly kind of threatening (fully intending on killing Calvin if they can get away with it), though comically inept and extremely unintelligent, but really scary seen through his eyes. So you might have noticed that the comic strip is called 'Calvin AND HOBBES' and Hobbes wasn't mentioned in this so far. So how does he deal with them, you might ask?

Hobbes rarely interacts with them, though he's always sleeping next to Calvin. He occasionally is shown waking up to offer Calvin advice or make gloomy comments on how annoying they are to deal with, however, whenever he DOES directly say anything, the monsters usually shut up extremely fast. Remember that poem from earlier?

This is how it ends:

apparently Hobbes' presence scares the monsters so much that they never actually physically threaten Calvin deliberately, they just lurk and try to lure him to his doom, but they're so scared of Hobbes they avoid him completely. Hobbes himself, as noted, never interacts with them directly, though he's aware of them and complains about them causing trouble from time to time.

[suzannahnatters]

ROTK Re-read: Book 6: The Hobbits Protest Fascism

Or: I accidentally finished listening through the entire rest of the book and now I am Bereft

Ch 1 - THE TOWER OF CIRITH UNGOL

ok wow and now we're right back to Cirith Ungol like there's no letting up in the pace at this point!

weeping at Sam's temptation. like yes it is funny that the ring tempts him with...a garden. but also it's not funny! it's a temptation that WORKS on SO MANY people! but Sam wins, he WINS, because he knows full well that he's NOT a challenger for the dark lord - he has the gift of humility AND THAT IS HOW HE DOES BECOME THE HERO OF THE AGE.

these Watchers at the gate are totally pharaonic Egypt coded which is obviously why I nicked this bit for the next Outremer book, A STRANGER IN THE LAND

love how many moments of awesome Sam is getting

"though here at journey's end I lie in darkness buried deep" top 10 LOTR poetry moment, possibly even THE top poetry moment 😭😭😭

this moment when Sam offers to carry the ring and Frodo gets all triggered is very relatable because I also say completely silly and naive things when I'm trying to help 💀

so ok Frodo is naked in this section, and I think there's a reason for that. bear in mind he's going through a whole death and resurrection motif, which he shares with two other messianic figures in the book. his symbolism is the priest to Gandalf's prophet and Aragorn's king. and when Christ was crucified they stripped and beat him, and cast lots for his clothes. that's the part that Frodo is experiencing. meanwhile Aragorn emulates Christ's kingship through a kind of harrowing of hell when he goes to the Paths of the Dead, liberating the spirits in prison. and Gandalf dies as a prophet, proclaiming the authority of the Secret Fire to the Balrog, before lying three days dead on the peak of Caradhras!

Ch 2 - THE LAND OF SHADOW

ooh a repetition of the HOBBIT theme: Sam reckons some light and water would be better than any jewels.

THE SHADOW!!! ONLY A SMALL! AND PASSING THING! EVEN IF IT DOES MANAGE TO KILL US THE STORY WILL NOT END WITH US

all the parallels with Beren and Luthien are killing me. you've got the dreadful march across the desert; you've got people disguising themselves as the servants of the dark lord; you've got a death and resurrection motif in a tower; you've got the humbler sidekick character turning up to awesomely rescue the hero.

gotta say it makes me so happy that the entire time that they're in Mordor they're having to deal with, basically, WWI army logistics. from things like all the soldiers having numbers, to the army camps barring the hobbits' road to the mountain, to the fact that it's a logistical snarl at a crossroads that enables them to escape...Tolkien's war experience is informing this in so many little ways and it makes me so happy.

Ch 3 - MOUNT DOOM

every time I read this chapter I am more impressed by Tolkien's depiction of trauma here

clutching my heart at the ways that Sam's behaviour changes once he realises that they have no hope of returning. throwing away his pots and pans!!!!!!!

Sam finally feels empathy for Gollum!!!!!! and it's because now he too has carried the Ring and been tempted by it! AUGH

Frodo failing at the very last hits me so much harder this time; I think because I'm understanding how hard Tolkien emphasises the sheer willpower Frodo is exercising in order to get to the mountain - he has made absolutely superhuman efforts to get to where he is and it's not enough. it's not enough. at the very last, he fails. gosh, it's immense.

anyway it pleases me very much to be told that Sauron understood precisely who done it and how before he perishes. take that you narcissistic blighter.

"I'm glad you're here with me - here at the end of all things" I need a moment.

Ch 4 - THE FIELD OF CORMALLEN

all this is unbelievably epic but here's another parallel with the quest of the Silmaril - the Eagles rescuing our two adventurers from the dark lord's doorstep.

seriously thank goodness we get such a gentle long slow resolution to this book because we need to be let out gently back into the world again

Frodo and Sam get back and meet for the first time all these incredibly important world leaders who do them honour!!!!! exultation of the humble for sure

speaking of which, this is giving me even more of an appreciation of the tale of Beren and Luthien, which this tale parallels. I think Luthien parallels, specifcially, Sam, which means Tolkien acknowledging Luthien, a woman, as being one of the weak things of the world which put the mighty to shame. and Luthien becomes the hero of Beren's quest in the same way that Sam becomes the hero of Frodo's. love that he draws this parallel and acknowledges women in the same way that he acknowledges gardeners.

Ch 5 - THE STEWARD AND THE KING

Faramir really goes heck with it we'll be dead tomorrow I'm going to chase this girl

losing it at how both of them have every reason to be distrustful and defensive with each other after what they've been through but they choose gentleness! they choose kindness!!!! Éowyn specifically says that she's bad at it but he elicits it!

oh wow after Faramir going on and on about his Numenorean heritage I'm hooting at Eowyn being like well mate you want to marry me? one of the lesser people? and he's like omg yes please.

loving all the elements of a medieval coronation ceremony I'm picking out here. Faramir vouches for Aragorn's descent from the royal clan, which is an important element, but so is the popular acclamation. finally, the medieval ceremony calls for anointing and crowning by a priest. since there are no priests in Middle Earth this role is performed jointly by the two other Christ figures, Gandalf and Frodo - but it fascinates me that Aragorn doesn't involve them as representatives of divinity, but as representatives of those who have served and helped him. yet another of the ways that he's coding himself as someone who recognises and submits himself to his own people.

love that Tolkien tells us that Gondor in the fourth age became the most glorious it had every been - as backward looking as the book is, it still constantly reminds us to look to better things in the future.

we get another too-brief look at Arwen but I appreciate that her labours are mentioned equally with his! she is positioned as his co-worker in renewing Gondor and ministering to the fourth age!

Ch 6 - MANY PARTINGS

once again I do think that the choice to give this book such a very long resolution is a brilliant one - after so many emotional high points we do need a very long and gentle resolution to let us back out gently into the real world. sometimes I think resolutions in books these days are too brief.

when Celeborn tells Aragorn he hopes his treasure will remain with him until the end is he talking about Galadriel or about Celebrian??? either way I am unwell

Ch 7 - HOMEWARD BOUND

ugh, I remember every other time I've read this about wounds that don't heal I've thought oh! yes, a physical disability, how unfortunate! but it's really about mental/spiritual wounds and I think you can't really understand this as a child, I think you need to be an adult who's been Through It.

always going to love the glow up the hobbits have got, without even noticing it. but in addition I love what Tolkien makes explicit here: Gandalf tells the hobbits that this is what they've been TRAINED for. like, yes, everyone talks about how backward-looking and elegaic LOTR is but this time it's really striking me how forward-looking the book actually is? at no point in this book, not once does Tolkien say that the past should not pass away! the humble are exalted so that they can take over from those who bore and wielded the Rings of Power! Galadriel leaves her task to the Evenstar and to Aragorn, the Elves go and leave Middle Earth to Men, Gandalf goes and leaves the hobbits to set things right in the Shire, Frodo goes away and leaves Sam to be his heir - this is the entire POINT of raising up the humble. Not for them to remain children forever, but to grow up and move on!

Ch 8 - THE SCOURING OF THE SHIRE

they got home to find that Lotho has Made The Shire Great Again lol

but seriously this chapter hits SO close to home. often I've read Tolkien and gone oh this is impeccably medieval but over and over this read I've marvelled at how much commentary there is on the early 20th century. this section, eg, has echoes of both communism and fascism.

"never...but I may forgive you" I. CON. IC.

so Tolkien was always insistent that the scouring of the Shire was an integral part of the story and this time I'm beginning to appreciate it even more. it really insists that you can't expect evil to be defeated once, and then go home and put your feet up. no, the line between good and evil runs through every institution, every country, every shire, every human heart. which is a truth I think a lot of tribalism, whether nationalism or something else, ignores. getting rid of the big individual bad guy does not fix everything that was wrong in Middle Earth! evil can't be located in one scary black tower far away; evil lives with us, among us. and once you get back home after the big adventure, well, you're still going to have to fight evil in small ways at home.

the other thing that always blows my mind is how petty Saruman is being here - like, he fully expects to lose the Shire just as he lost Isengard! he has no long term strategy here! he's just out to destroy as much as he can before he's done!

ok I have never noticed this before but there actually is a strong parallel here between Wormtongue and Gollum???? the crawling, and the whining, and even the cannibalism???? brrr

Ch 9 - THE GREY HAVENS

one last instance of Tolkien drinking respect women juice: Lobelia S-B, who in 9 books out of 10 would never have been more than a ghastly old battle axe, is allowed to become a local heroine and granted great kindness and respect by the narrative. I love this so much.

Sam asking for advice for what to do with Galadriel's gift is very much who he'll always be, I think - always likely to lean on the advice of those he considers his betters. he will always be very humble, but I love that Frodo recognises Sam's maturity and encourages him to use his own judgement. and I love even more that Galadriel gets to see the result and give him her personal approval.

"well, I'm back" perfect ending. perfectly bittersweet.

not sure what I'll do with my life now but anyway...if anyone wants more LOTR commentary it's all in the #jrrtandme2025 tag. cheers!

[pedrocomicreviews]

The Ultimates #11

"'And if you say to me, 'false, dismissed, no such things exist' I'll reply 'now you know WHY. Because Thor and Sif resist.'"

We continue our journey into peak by taking a detour into the Thor and Sif Power Hour, as they try to undermine Loki's decadent reign over the Nine Realms and their proud narrator criticizes ultra-capitalist CEOs every once in a while.

I like it when Thor forces the book to become something older. Thor is really hot right now and most titles involving him have some concession that he should not be treated like any other character, and that he should bring in poetry, or sometimes even the feel of an older comic book.

Despite Deniz Camp's prose being a little iffy sometimes, this doesn't disappoint in that regard. The structure of an epic poem is mostly used to good effect, even if most of the payoff is a few jokes about how contemporary these problems actually are. It turns out Loki has made dwarves into indentured factory workers, the light elves into corporate content creators, and left the Vanir mostly alone as they're too scared to resist the oppressive government until it comes knocking on their doors.

Much like the Luke Cage issue, it's very obvious and clear in its allegory, and maybe that won't work for some. It is admittedly ground the book has threaded before, and it sorta flattens Loki as a threat to a joke-- he's lazy, fat, aging and can't even give speeches well anymore. While his counterpart in 616 because God of Stories, this one is mostly a joke himself. Which, for one of the most iconic Marvel characters of all time, maybe partially responsible for most people's pop culture interest in Norse mythology period, is a little disappointing.

It's also a little disappointing that the realms are mostly what you'd expect of them. The nature of the universe is obviously the same, so it makes sense that we're not seeing a huge reboot or remix of the Nine (or really Ten) Realms, but it does mean it feels even less interesting to explore than the original Ultimate Universe's version of Asgard and such, which did go into a new exciting direction before that universe folded. I hope we go back to some of these places by the time they have something interesting going on in them.

It's tough, because the star of the story is definitely not visiting the realms, but checking in on Thor and Sif. I'd say they're the most unchanged characters in the Neo Ultimate Universe so far, and we see some hints and glimpses of things to come from their part that will probably change that drastically. I still don't fully believe they'll both survive the first 18 months, myself.

Despite being technically competent and not at all bad, I think it's still kind of a shame that my interest in the issue was only really reignited by the end, which leaves Thor and takes us back to Tony and Doom for a second. The issue is good, the prose is decent, the art is great, but I mourn a little for the potential of the Nine Realms as places I actually care about, instead of just set-ups for political punchlines and commentary we all kind of already agree on.

[kariachi]

It just feels really important that the Reboot made it clear Kevin's home life was shit. After UAF tried to portray it as a problem with him rather than his circumstances that aimed him down the road he took, and OV didn't touch on the topic at all, having the Reboot come out and go "yeah, the implication in OS that he came from a bad home where he was mistreated is because he came from a bad home where he was mistreated" not only does a valuable job in sticking a pin in a piece of Kevin's backstory- something OV left in the air after it's retcons- but also solidifies a layer of the character. Fuck, it adds a whole new layer of tragedy to him.

Because in OS Kevin's situation is blamed on his parents having a problem with his being a mutant- something that unfortunately is very believable, especially with some of what we see of mutants over the course of the franchise- but we see in the Reboot that that's not the sole cause. Kevin was always doomed to be, from what we're shown, neglected and from looking at his poetry likely verbally abused at the minimum. Likely OG!Kevin just got it worse due to being a minority with seemingly bigoted parents. But you notice that even Reboot!Kevin cut and ran as soon as he had some sort of means to do so. And the fact he hasn't turned around and is just continuing to run around homeless...

Says a lot.

And again on the importance end of things- the Reboot not only backs up what Kevin says in OS, but at no point is he blamed for the shit he's dealt with. Fuck, even with the adults he deals over the course of the show he isn't blamed when they're shit to him, even when him doing bad is involved. Because they're the adults here, they're supposed to be better than that. That sort of thing is always important to have- a kid who has been and continues to be abused by adults, especially one who acts out and misbehaves, not being to blame for that abuse. Held accountable for their actions, yes, presented as the cause of their own problems, no. Especially after UAF went "oh no, his parents were just good people doing their best with a bad kid and did nothing wrong ever, his situation was always his own fault", completely removing the results of most likely straight up bigoted abuse from the backs of Kevin's parents by placing all that blame on him.

Just, it's good to see it.